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Free Therapy

by dereworthy

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1.
Verse 02:01
[DNE]
2.
I'll be older when I'm gone; Suddenly, that sounds so strange. Take every answer, But don't leave me all alone. Watch me, I'm coming up roses and I need trimming; I'll weep, My heart's on my sleeve and it's all I'm giving. We're on the rocks. Sip it slow, take me home. Let me take those leaps of faith Down to where compassion lays her head; Take every armful But don't keep me close. Watch me, I'm coming up roses and I need trimming; I'll weep, My heart's on my sleeve and it's all I'm giving. We're on the rocks. Sip it slow, take me home. Plant me somewhere new, Amid the soil of catastrophe Surrounded by sunny views. Light alone does not grow the tree We're hoping to be. So please Watch me, I'm coming up roses and I need trimming; I'll weep, My heart's on my sleeve and it's all I'm giving. We're on the rocks. Sip it slow, take me home.
3.
Twenty-three and I should be So phased by what you do: Building threads, then breaking them Much faster than I would. But I'm not so divisive That I'd shut you out for trusting me with mazes. You've got a way with time, And I can't fault you for the tests. My patience wears quite thin, But I know you still need your rest Amid the other lines to trace To places that I will not see for ages. But you know I'm not here to say I'm done, 'Cause at this point it's clear to see you've run The better part of every inch Of ebbing grief. I'm not opposed to bargains But I do think that'd feel cheap; To ask you for a pardon When I find it hard to breathe. For every inch of setback that I've faced, I know you dragged yourself through more. So I'm just here to lay it at your feet, This thanks; A chance to think that we might meet in the middle, And give us both some answers sweet. It's just rudimentary carpentry.
4.
Crickets 03:46
You're not at fault For what you felt for me, 'Cause I held your heart In pale southwestern weeds. I'm not yours no more. I've tasted lead Amid your restless dreams. And you rolled cigarettes Like countless prayers of steam, But I'm not yours no more; I'm not yours no more. And the way you loved my motion Made me stronger, And we built like waves, Our shadows getting longer; When the smell of night Would linger in your collar, We were home. We were gone. I'm not yours no more.
5.
Black is the color of my true love's hair, His lips are something rosy fair. The sweetest smile, and the kindest hands; I love the grass whereon he stands. I love my love and well he knows, I love the ground whereon he goes; But if he no more on earth will be, T'will truly be the end of me.
6.
I've been altered by the circumstances; I don't feel great about the way I deal with sadness. I am anger, And I'm madness. I don't know where I should go from here, I don't know from here where I go. I don't know me anymore than I can feel it; If you'd show me I'm still not sure that you could heal it. But you close yourself From seeing it. I don't know where we should go from here, I don't know from here where you go. I'm not here; Mind's run away And left heart to pick up pieces It doesn't know where they go. I can't figure when this started being painful; If I think straight I think maybe I'd be able Just to sit down At your table And to tell you I can't face my fears— I don't know from here where this goes. I'm not here; Mind's run away And left heart to pick up pieces It doesn't know where they go. I'm still scared, Come what may; I can't cry to make this better. I've grown beyond what I've known.
7.
I know that I'm a lot At once; Breathe in, Breathe out— Small steps, We tell ourselves. There's only so much to say Into space between the premises So I'll go first. You'll follow In time. You have the depth Of my father's heart in your eyes, Green and blue at war Around your pupils blown so wide At the sight of a smile On your behalf; I want to follow your stride Through the ardent stretch Of a thousand breaths And then take several more. I've been mistaking Venus For the north star; Southwest bodies move— Slowly— But yes, they move. Life is random, Life is weird; The universe won't wait To see you've got me, But you've got me. You have the depth Of my father's heart in your eyes, Green and blue at war Around your pupils blown so wide At the sight of a smile On your behalf; I want to follow your stride Through the ardent stretch Of a thousand breaths And then take several more.
8.
Re: Verse 02:32
[DNE]
9.
I've a scratch on my watch face From climbing the half-roof To pull back the gear From a billowing storm; Those reminders of simpler times Feel etched in my skin. Now I've worries like flurries Amid love like white ashes, I know all my ticks And I know how to feel To the tips of my toes; 'Least I'm better at laughing now. It's not done yet. I fall in too quickly And burn like a dry match, I feel like an hourglass Repeatedly tipped, But the feeling of sand running through me Is better than emptiness. There's a sense of what's coming In every new morning, The rime of a sunrise That burns through my eyelids Too beautifully orange. Yes, it's sad But it's better than lying. It's not done yet. I'm not trying to turn into someone I'm not, But it's hard to speak When there's cotton and bunting Where I once had tongue. We're not alone, But we're still not home. So bring me the gale-force Of growing up quickly; I've learned several years In just barely six months. I'm convinced that the greater things Are just hiding in little thoughts. If you told me last summer I'd know more by winter Than I ever wanted On promise and love, Maybe I'd want to. Just probably not this way. But it's not done yet. It's not done yet.

credits

released March 15, 2017

Isabella Ness, guitar & vocals on all tracks.
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Isabella Ness.

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dereworthy Austin, Texas

Eve the guitar, Isabella the human. Life happens, and so we sing about it to make it hum a little louder.

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